Legos.

I

It’s only 2 pm and I am ready to throw up my hands and call it a day.

- Today is a Teacher Work Day/Student Holiday and Monday is of course MLK Jr Day so my two monkeys get to have a 4 day weekend. Hooray for them, not so much cheering from me. I get to juggle work with cooking extra meals and referee duties.

I’ve made a few Fuzzies, shipped some packages, and replied to a few business related emails. Then my kids woke up and demanded breakfast. After I fed them, they went off to play while I tried my best to work on some new designs. I didn’t get very far when blood curdling screams alerted me to a brawl in the next room. A twenty minute long lecture over the “joys of sharing your Legos with your brother despite his tendency to annoy” given by yours truly ensued but only resulted in another yelling match over who got what on his birthday/Christmas. I pulled a King Solomon and threatened to throw all the dastardly Lego pieces in the trash (yes, I know that isn’t how the story went - but you try cutting tiny Lego pieces in half).

Both kids quickly pointed out that they had rights. Rights! *tiny fists pound the air* And their right to privacy included not having to share their private belongings. I had no choice but to turn Commie on them thereby squelching any more of this “freedom of owning possessions” nonsense and declared all Legos as community property to be delegated by the all-knowing Mother. Are we not all Comrades?

Seeing Red made me realize the hypocrisy of what I teach them about democracy and civil rights versus my actions as a parent, but did it stop me? No. Why? Because they are children. Fighting over tiny Lego pieces that in my opinion all look alike. I’m sick of stepping on them, unclogging my vacuum cleaner of them, and most of all negotiating peace treaties regarding them.

Where are their Legos now? They are safely locked away in three large plastic bins under heavy guard far from the reaches of their tiny grubby fingers. I have replaced the void left in their bedroom with absolutely nothing and I can hear them plotting their revenge. Words like “this isn’t fair” and “rescue mission” have floated out from the crack in their doorway. Am I scared? Nah. I’m distracting their plans to overthrow my regime with the delicious aroma of brownies baking in my oven. All the while I am devising a 154-trillion point plan for them to earn back their precious Legos…

One hard earned brick at a time.

Mwaahahahahaa!